Honeydew

Was she honeydew or banana?

Did she taste like a voiceless dream?

And did she fulfill your fantasy of a moon-faced girl?

All innocence in the dark, surrounding sea

Was he animal or pirate?

Did he touch like you were the first he’d ever seen?

And did he stare, then smile like a kid?

Was he bearded or fresh as fifteen?

I love to make the bed

I’d rather make love

What are you?

What are you afraid of?

Did she save her kisses like stamps for letters she would never send?

And did she open like an envelope?

Naked in her burden

Did he hold her like a handcuff or like a railing?

Did he hold her underwater like breath?

Or did he hold off, unsure of her wanting?

He says we’re on a boat

She says she lost her watch in the sea

I’m a-holdin’ onto control

Just drop it, you don’t need it

There’s freedom shouting in me

It’s hard to melt, when you’re afraid of fire

And it’s hard to yell, when you’ve had to be quiet

For so long

Dharamsala, India 2008

The Wind

I let the wind whistle for me

For I cannot whistle easily

Like the wind I want to be free

I would like to lie upon the sea

I would like to cool people down

When the sun is golden crown

I would like to sweep away its heat

And pull the rug from under its feet, sayin’

Ha-ha, don’t be a hothead

Or you’ll turn from gold to red

Like a leaf in the fall

I thought you were grand, but maybe you’re small after all

And I can blow you out like a candle

I let the wind whistle for me

For I cannot whistle easily

I just sing when I should sleep

It’s my way of counting the sheep

One and a two and a three

It’s four, the hour of melancholy

and since I cannot whistle easily

I let the wind whistle for me

I let the wind whistle for me

For I cannot whistle easily

I just want to be free

I wrote this song while I was studying at the University of Toronto.

I was living on the eleventh floor of a new residence building called Morrison Hall (the only & foolish reason I chose to live there... It was like a hospital, with white lights that never turned off. I felt like I was living inside a submarine.)

And from my bed, I could hear the wind roaring against my big window pane.

Five years later, I'm still asking myself what it means to be free, & probably will be for a long time...